Parenting In The Know: Emotional Diversity

Emotional Diversity. Ever wish that you or your child could only feel happiness and avoid the yucky feelings? Research has shown that individuals who experience a broad range of feelings (“emotional diversity”) report less depression and fewer days in a hospital as adults. 

This means that both positive and negative emotions can help us. While painful and uncomfortable feelings are not pleasant, they are important functions for us. They let us know when danger is present, when to pay attention to something, and when to do something. Understanding why we feel these negative emotions can lead to feeling better. Imagine if every time you were angry, you were able to understand why and then change something (i.e., your self-understanding, the way something works, or your understanding of another). You would likely feel better. Perhaps you would no longer be working for someone who was unethical, or you would have greater patience for someone who couldn’t do something as well as you. This can decrease your anger, leading to a more positive emotion, such as “calm”. 

If so, then you would have just expanded your emotional diversity. And, guess what! Research shows that those who experience a broader range of positive emotions (besides just happiness) seem to have better physical outcomes.

So, the next time you find yourself trying to convince your child (or yourself) that you should be feeling happy, try exploring the painful or uncomfortable feeling and see where it leads to…you just might find yourself in a better place.

Allison L. Sallee, PhD, LP, LMFT-S