Parenting In The Know: Anger

Current information to help you make informed parenting decisions. 

Anger: The Healthy Way. Anger is a natural emotion that lets us know when needs aren’t met or when goals are unfulfilled. When your child is angry, it’s your opportunity to teach them how to deal with this important feeling.

• Use your words. Label what you think your child is feeling. Let them correct you if you are wrong. Sometimes other negative emotions look like anger, so be sure to check.

• Acknowledge the feelings. It is important for children to know that their feelings are understood (even if you don’t think they should be angry!). This can often reduce anger quickly.

• Model effective anger management strategies. Punishment does not work, so try to avoid punishing them for expressing anger. Instead teach them strategies (i.e., count to 10, relaxation techniques, simple self-talk).

• Get physical. Sometimes kiddos just need to get it out (we all do!). Encourage them to go on a walk with you, ride their bike, punch a pillow, or run around the backyard.

• Problem solve. Your child may be angry because he or she needs help problem solving. This may be best done when your kiddo has calmed down. Encourage them to come to you when angry so you can help them problem solve before they become too angry.

• Source it. Sometimes, children are angry because the situation is beyond their developmental ability. This is when you step in. Change the environment in a safe way so that your kiddo can be more successful.

Allison L. Sallee, PhD, LP, LMFT-S